Tuesday, November 19, 2013

The passing of years

Last night I was in the mood for a movie so I checked to see what was on HBO. (For some reason, Verizon gifted us with three free months of HBO so I've been taking advantage of it.) Moonstruck was one of the offerings, one of my favorite films. So many lines in that movie are ones that have been adopted by my own family: "Snap out of it!", "I'm confused," and "Bring me the big knife!" are a few.

After the movie ended, I wracked my brain trying to remember where, when and with whom I saw this movie. Was it ten years ago with my husband? No, it must have been made in the 90s, I thought, since the World Trade Center buildings figure so prominently in a few of the scenes. Then I convinced myself I'd seen it with a boyfriend in the 1990s. To verify, I checked IMDB, where I was stunned to learn this film was released in December 1987. Then I remembered: I'd seen it during my senior year in college ... over 25 years ago!

It seems like yesterday I saw Moonstruck in a theatre, and indeed there's little about the film --sans the Twin Towers-- that dates it. Yet I can't remember who was with me: the guy from my hometown in CT who I pined for my senior year? A blind date set up by my ex-boss? Perhaps I saw it with my college friends ... my mind is blank on the details, except for how much I remembered from the movie: the plot, the argumentative Italian-American family, much like my own argumentative Irish-American family; the funny, clever one-liners.

Today I'm peevish and melancholy. I think how fast those twenty-five years have slipped by me. Yet, when my eyes tear up, I think of how much has changed. In 1987, I was unsure of myself or what I wanted to do with my life, even though I harbored the hope of becoming a writer of some sort. I remember all the years I spent working in advertising, then marketing, feeling like the proverbial square peg in a round hole. I remember turning 30, when suddenly I wanted to settle down yet everything around me was in flux. I met my husband when I was 32, we married, we had a baby in 2001. Now that baby is 12, a funny, articulate sixth grader who spends at least 30 minutes every morning getting his hair just right before he gets on the school bus. I've beaten cancer, said goodbye to my last two living grandparents, and traveled all around the world, visiting countries I'd dreamed about as a child. My corporate days are long behind me, and after countless magazine articles, four non-fiction books, and two novels (published under pseudonyms), I can unashamedly call myself A Writer. And now that I've reached that goal, I find myself casting about for my next act: a nurse? An MSW? I just want to feel useful, to feel like I'm making a difference in someone's life: I've closed the book on chasing money and fame.

Looking back at those 25 years has reminded me how much really has happened, yet how much slid by unnoticed. And rather than continue to feel melancholy about it, I'm determined now to capture more of it so that the next 25 years --which I'm sure will fly by even faster than the last quarter century -- can be more accurately measured for its riches.

It means I will post here more frequently about the seemingly mundane, but special things I want to remember. Of course I will continue to talk about all things Anglo that catch my fancy, but you'll have to forgive me if I veer off the path, which may happen more frequently than before.

Onward to 2038!

 

 

10 comments:

  1. We have so much in common everytime I read your blog. We both are born on November 13. (I was in 1965 not sure about you.) I have an MSW! I am not a published author though, so you have had a much more interesting career than I. I would have loved to have become a nurse. I think it would have been more rewarding, certainly a better job market and salary, and more valued ,but I just could not get over my squeamishness. I will be interested to hear what route you take. :-)

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  2. P.S. I am glad you enjoyed your coconut cake. ;)

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  3. Jan, I'm 1964, and not just a Scorpio, but born on a Friday in the Year of the Dragon. ;-) Yes, I'm thinking of going for my MSW based on some advice I received recently and also realizing during my hospital stay that nursing may be too physically taxing for me. Lots of things to think about ... at any rate, thank you for commenting. Sometimes I wonder if i'm alone in the blog wilderness, so it's nice to know there's someone out there who can relate. :)

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  4. And a belated Happy Birthday to you, Jan!

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  5. Thank you for the birthday greeting. That would be a valid point about nursing being a taxing career. What type of work would you be interested to do with your MSW? I have done outreach work as well as counseling. Almost all of it has been done with children or adolescents or families. I sometimes think it would be interesting to work with adults or in a hospice setting. Maybe someday. Where I live there are not a lot of jobs to come by so I will be sticking with the current one for the foreseeable future.

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  6. Is it difficult to make a shift from say children/adolescents to another group? Do you get pigeon-holed? I'm still thinking older adults/hospice settings, but my PT opened my eyes to another group, veterans. Two of my brothers are Marines returned from Iraq/Afghanistan, and she thought I'd make an empathetic counselor or "neuropsych" (which I'm still researching). I know what you mean about "sticking with [it]" though ... been there/done that.

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  7. I am sorry to post so many times in one day but when you mentioned a hospital stay I thought I must have missed something. I went back and found your post about your back and the DVT. Oh my I don't know how I missed that one! I am so sorry about your health crisis! I hope you are doing ok. I agree it was better to happen in October. Than in dark dreary november.I can completely relate about the middle age need for weight loss. In 2007 I had to have a complete hysterectomy and I have had a devil of a time with weight since then. At a recent doctor appointment I discussed with him losing 20 pounds. He thinks its a good idea and attainable. Two of his immediate suggestions were drop sugar and walk daily. So you are on the right path. I am sorry to say I have not accomplished the walking but have cut down quite a bit on the sugar. I need to just go cold turkey and watch my portions a bit more too. I never seem to feel motivated to walk in the cold but maybe one of these days. I hope you are feeling better and I will be interested to hear more about your new healthy changes too!

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  8. No I have not found that myself or any of my MSW friends/colleagues have been pigeon holed. Actually, I think it is really a very fluid profession particularly for people that have their LCSW. It was my choice all these years to work with children and adolescents. Mostly I have loved it. It's only recently that things have become very political at my work setting and I have thought a bit about change. In reality this will likely pass and all will be how I am used to things. If I lived in a larger area there would be far more job choice I bet. I am limited by the the area I live in. I have personally found hospice work to be of interest. I know some social workers that work with veterans at the VA. There is a great need in that area and they have found it to be very rewarding. I have worked with children with Autism that have been involved with neuropsychs. The ones that I have conferenced with have been quite knowledgable. The ones I have dealt with have been on the phd level. I have never looked into the degree requirements of a neuropsychs but I am sure it would be a very interesting field of study.

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  9. No need to be sorry for responding so much. :) I am doing MUCH better, thank you ... the DVT is largely unnoticed, except for my nightly Coumadin tab, and I'm completely off painkillers for my back. Sorry to hear about your health problems; I have friends who've had hysterectomies and said the same thing about weight. Hormonal changes make weight loss so much more difficult! One thing that works for me is making small *positive* changes. If I tell myself, "Ok Di, no more sugar," my inner teen rebels. So I make commitments like drinking a smoothie for breakfast instead of having coffee (sugar!) or making a large salad with cheese -- cheese *always* motivates me!-- for lunch. Making those positive changes squeezes the bad habits out of my life. A few years ago I wrote a book for Psychology Today called Secrets of Successful Weight Loss, and that was the psychological tip that one doc gave that really worked for me. The power of positive reinforcement at work. :)

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  10. Great tips! You are so right it is the small little changes that become habits.

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