Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Deep romance?

A couple nights ago, my son and I were watching television and my attention was drawn to this commercial:

"You've got to be kidding," I said. "A cheap necklace to commemorate the sinking of a ship, which resulted in the deaths of over 1,500 people?" (The Sterlington Collection, the purveyors of this fine silverplate necklace -- and if you order now, a ring, too! -- calls them "souls aboard.")

The commercial is ridiculously hilarious -- from the photocopied Titanic tickets to the watery background behind the jewelry being showcased. What is romantic about a steamship filled with passengers sinking in the middle of the night in the cold north Atlantic? I think they're thinking of Leonardo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet smooching on a soundstage. And frankly, I didn't think the movie was all that romantic. I'll take a Merchant Ivory production, thank you.

Perhaps the Sterlington Collection has a long-term plan to develop jewelry to commemorate tragic events in human history. What's next? A bracelet called Waves of Desire, which honors the people who perished in the Boxing Day tsunami? Towers of Power, a faux onyx brooch that recalls the deadly September 11 attacks? Or maybe they see the romance of Pearl Harbor? Perfect, because they don't even have to think about the right fake jewel.

So yes, I will be passing on the Deep Romance necklace, matching ring, and photocopies of the doomed Titanic's last menu and a boarding pass, thus depriving my descendants of this classic heirloom. My loss could be your gain, though.

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